You are hereLady Waiting - by CL Secretan

Lady Waiting - by CL Secretan


Hope International Ministries is proud to present "Lady Waiting" by C.L.Secretan. This is a remarkable book of poetry which will captivate you and take your thoughts on a journey.

This book is now available as an eBook at Smashwords.

So many roads

By the side of the road I stop;
A traveller in need of a rest I relax;
A soul desiring companionship
I strike up a chat…
Urged on by the clock
I reluctantly return to the track,
But which way should I go?
There are so many forks, so many roads.

At the end of my road
Is my destination; this much I know.
But will I arrive there tomorrow
Or get lost en route?
Shall I go directly as planned?
Or detour and look around?
Will I have fine weather,
Or find myself flood bound?
Shall I listen to advice,
Or feel their opinion’s their own?
Shall I walk with the familiar,
Or be challenged by the unknown?
Shall I travel with company
Or go it alone?

If every question is a junction
Where are all the signs?




Many a pot of tea

The cackles,
The groans,
The feelings outpoured
As we sit chatting
Over another pot of tea.

My grandparents,
My mum,
Dad joins on a break from work,
And I sit listening intently
As an elixir of heart-warming yarns is poured for me.

Memories...
Of fun
As through seasons they’ve walked:
Stories of autumn leaves, snow, spring flowers
And berry picking; all ended with a tale of a funfair by the sea.

History...
When Vikings crossed;
Family talks complete with ghosts of course;
Neighbours, friends, the houses lived in
And genetic strands that like arms hold me to each scene.

Tragedy...
What was lost
When the country was at war.
The bonding. The terror. The sirens and bombings.
Duty, pride and fear recalled - Granddad served in the Navy.

Reflecting
They make a fresh pot.
Talk swings to a new shore -
Australia. The land of my birth.
What struggles, what laughs they’ve had since landing here.

While sipping
They chat. I think a lot,
Wondering if I’ll get to answer the call -
To return to this land of ancestors and beginnings,
To return to these origins that beckon me still.




Diaspora

Diaspora,
Historians’ delight;
Banishment,
Beginning of night.

Ostracism,
The hunted in flight;
Exile,
The bearers of light.

Seclusion,
All buried like gems;
Separation,
Now trophies of men.

Expatriation,
Surviving in blends;
Diaspora,
In reconciliation it ends.




Facing face

Losing face.
Saving face.
By these, every move is measured.
Face in hands.
Face tear streaked.
Face lifted high.

Pretty face.
Ugly face.
By this self-worth is judged, even scored.
Smiling faces... how good these make me feel.
Radiant faces... these take me higher still.
Distorted faces... What does their message mean?

What is it you read in my face?
Just a face
Or someone’s face?
Is it someone special that you see?




Tests of time

Time is rhythm keeper; steady is its pace.
Somehow in the training I lost the yen to race.

Time is a challenge, a means for most to test.
I always seem to flounder just when I reach my best.

Time is a friend to some, achievements it does bring.
I turn my eyes up to the sky but fly with wounded wing.

Time is a fleeting thing. All search for it in vain.
Clouded is the view through my window pane.

Time is a dream at best, a plan of things to be.
O may the Timekeeper teach his time to me.




Lamp high (Sweet memory)

By the roadside, awaiting morning’s light, I stood alone in the dark.
You paused in your journey; with warmth from your heart
And no more than a spark you kindled a fire.
Your love, a light, it burned so bright.
Your love, my life’s now sole delight.
Give me courage to hold it - to hold my lamp high
That one day you will see it and my rescue be nigh.

Passers-by did sneer (they valued not your deed).
Still they deride me; your return they cannot believe.
Others dispute my claim yet they can’t deny
The proof, the flame that lights my eyes;
The proof you gave to be your guide.
Give me courage to hold it - to hold my lamp high
That one day you will see it and my rescue be nigh.

“Keep watch for me.” you said. “One day I’ll return;
“Surely I will find you if that lamp you still burn.”
I’ve remembered your words. I’ve posted my sign.
My love, my hope, I burn your light.
My love your promise has changed my life.
With courage I hold it. I hold my lamp high
For the day you will see it and your glory be mine.




Life from the dirt

If life
Is but a tittle,
A wisp of smoke,
A splinter of time,
This life -
Life unseen, microscopic.

Life awesome, universal.
If life can be described as such,
Then what is my life,
That I should consider it prized?




Destiny

Where will you be when you life’s at its end?
Forever in heaven? Or in hell ‘down below’?
In heaven we’re promised perfection without end.
Hell is a place we’d rather not go.

Though hell’s wrath is depicted as fire and flames,
What if this furnace is fuelled by things like isolation and fear?
“Fitting punishment for some. Not me, I’m a good person.” you say.
Rejection of Jesus gets you in - not your lack of good deeds.

Jesus is preparing a place in heaven for you.
Hell was intended for Satan; God never wanted us to go there.
Blessed with life we must experience death too;
Now is the time to decide whose eternity you’ll share.




Light within the light

God’s love is universal; his canopy shelters all.
Amid the strife and the turmoil
His arms extend this call:
“My love is light, for I am light;
“In it you’re meant to live.
“To turn from me lets darkness in;
“The sinful path is dim.
“For you I yearn, my love still burns;
“I know the power of night.
“To guide you home I send the Son -
“Your light within the light.”




One step from the sunshine

Just one more step and I’ll be in the sunlight...
Heavy clouds roll in and hide my hope from sight.

Just one quick dash and I’ll be out of this rain...
My foot slips and I am drowning once again.

Just one soft touch and I’ll feel the words you say...
You neglect me and my heart is filled with pain.

Just one more breath and I’ll make it up this hill...
My legs grow weak and leave me standing still.

Just one clear day and I’ll get through all these nights…
My struggle is the evidence I’m still grasping onto life.




Idle fingers

His lonely fingers grasp the bottle and pour
Yet another drink. It is not his shaking hands
But his empty heart that fills his glass to the brink.
It is not his will but a night alone
That brings him here to sit and think.

His idle fingers tremble as he fumbles
With the pack. There is no soft hand beside him,
To tease him with a light so he almost puts it back.
There, in that cigarette is something he can hold
So he lights it and draws its fumes right back.

His gentle fingers speak clear to me but not in a
Fleshly way. In his moves I hear this age-old rhyme:
‘The devil soon finds work….’ The scene sees the rest explained.
In his eyes I glimpse an angel, all he needs
Is a lady and heaven would be his again toda

His soul’s burnt fingers, numb with alcohol, sift
The chaos in his mind. No consolation is found
For yesterday. No new plans seem fit to try.
He finds no reason to go home so at the bar he is stationed.
Here no questions will be asked. Here he’ll buy himself more time.




Double vision

Side by side I see them,
The starving and the full.
Just one line does divide them -
A comfortable verbal border: “Can’t life be so cruel?”

Side by side I see them,
The victim and the brute.
Just one thing does define them -
A self imposed enforcer: “I’m the one with boots!”

Side by side I see them,
The prisoner and the free.
Just one wall does confine them -
A powerful social order: “That’s where you should be!”

Side by side I see them,
The weakened and the strong.
By their heart the Lord reveals them -
From the inside they are sorted, to show our view is wrong.




Wretched

A sea bird -
Alone on land;
A silent dirge
Dripping oil on sand.

A letter -
Thoughts poured in ink.
A storm filled gutter
And repudiation’s succinct.

Blood red rose -
The lover’s flame;
On thorns beneath the glow,
Impaled are those it’s maimed.




Heart’s desire

A house. What images spring to mind?
Should I be asked to name my style,
What kind of building would I choose?

I love the cottage, with garden and thatched roof;
That unique blend of stone and straw,
Where herbs and flowers are together strewn.
So cosy. Inviting. It’s just the place for two.
But I’d love a Tudor manor too,
With rolling lawns,
Complete with a labyrinth to stroll through.
Where soft and stark unite in tune
To stand defiantly to all
A timeless view.

A marriage brings similar thoughts to mind.
Should I hope it to last for life
What hopes, feelings should I make known to you?

I love romantic things like ambling in full moon.
Intimate moments of touch and thought
Where all hurts fade because of you.
So naturally, I’d want only to be with you.
But I’d love a man who could flaunt me too
With never a thought
That one could tilt his roost;
Where smiles and pride combine like glue
To boast triumphantly this call:
A couple true.

An ideal some would say I’ve described;
Indeed, is this not what each heart desires?
To share with another a life of “I love you.”




The lady and her knight

You can be my hero anytime; I’ll receive you with delight.
You can paint my name across the sky with banners,
Jets or laser lights. I promise I won’t run and hide,
Or say: “O my God! I think I’ll die.” You can be
My hero anytime; I’ll be the lady you’ve hoped to find.

You can be my hero anytime; I’ll not mind what mount
You ride. You can come on a silver motorbike with helmet,
Gloves and boots my size. I promise I won’t decline in fright
Or say: “No I can’t. It’s not lady like.” You can be
My hero anytime. I’ll be the lady kept by your side.

You can be my hero anytime; I’ll be faithful all my life.
You can ask me out anytime you like with tickets, flowers
Or plain desire. I promise I won’t hurt your pride,
Or say: “I’ve made other plans tonight.” You can be
My hero anytime; I am your lady and your love I prize.




The depth of heart

Our heartfelt pleas are both bound and read
In the words of whispered prayer,
While each precious tear in silence shed
Weighs full on the scales of care.

The anguished grasp of an empty hand
Cries loud that its pain be shared;
And begs for light in life’s shadowed plans
To comfort this soul lain bare.

With our inner screams cast heavenward
We do fall on bended knees,
Then in pain we lie where once we stood,
Alone with our tortured pleas.

In tears I fall on a shoulder strong
And my grief is buried here.
I’m healed in a glow that alone belongs
To the strength of a heart that cares.




The singer and his song

My eyes lack vision;
My heart has eased its beat;
My life without direction;
I have been drained of all but my soul
By the worldly and their world.

Like an oasis in the desert,
An island in the sea,
A balm to heal the hurt,
His voice captivates me.

Like the rain that breaks the drought,
The dove that bears the leaf,
A wall to keep danger out,
His message speaks to me.
Like the stage before the show,
A distant mountain peak,
The first flower to brave the snow,
He is inspiration to me.

My eyes have been focused,
My heart spoken for,
My life given purpose.
I have been filled, breathed upon
By the singer and his song.




Betrothal

A diamond solitaire
Is all she needs -
Its sparkle unsurpassed reflects her heart.
This is his promise
And she wears it with pride.

A comforter, a friend
The Lord said he would send;
The Holy Spirit
To shine from within and claim us as his.
This is his promise
Till we stand at his side.




Captured

Once I was restless, an endless searching breeze.
Like a wall you saw me halted and dropped me to my knees.

Once I was empty, a river waiting rain.
Now the banks are overflowing and have been since you came.

Once I was frozen, a lake in wintertime.
The warmth of coming summer, you freed life beneath the ice.

Once I was downcast, a memory on a shelf.
With a vision you restored me and took me for yourself.




Woman

Like a mist-draped morning
Begs the sun to disperse the chill,
So is the allure of a woman
To a man and his will.

As the sea to the diver
Is deep, with the promise of pearls,
Such is the mystery, the power
That holds a man to his girl.

Like a stream’s water refreshes
Those willing to pause on their knees,
The world is fought for, and forsaken
When love is what a man needs.

As the dream to the dreamer
Embodies the heart long after dawn,
All this and more she will be
When a man for a woman has called.




Your heart

Your heart held and loved me
Before earthly plans brought me into being.
Yes, your yearning was ever for me
Before I even came to be.

Your eyes were set upon me
Before I knew you were there.
You desired and watched over me
Before I gave you thought or care.

Your love was sunlight to me
Before I knew day from night.
You held firm the hope to meet me -
Yes, faithful as each day’s sunrise.

Your words were spoken to me
Before I recognized your voice;
You waited; never forced me –
Yes relationship was my choice.

Before, I knew you not;
Now I long to know you more.
Your love reveals and proves me;
Yes, I can never be as I was before.




Full seasons

Time is often more than a space of waiting.
It’s the chance to juggle the thoughts in our hands.
It’s the opportunity to perfect all our plans.
Time’s efforts are results in the making.

Fruit is the reward of those patiently waiting.
It’s the complete circle to seed once planted.
It’s the fulfilment of our hopes being granted.
Fruit’s value is measured in the tasting.

Birth is the moment to end anxious waiting.
It’s the sealing of bonds silently growing.
It’s a product of love and keeps unity glowing.
Birth’s fullness puts purpose in the mating.

Love is more than a game of two hearts playing.
It’s the decision to take one step at a time.
It’s the revealing of the best prizes there are to find.
Love’s rewards are always worth the waiting.




For always (a child’s eyes)

From summers on the beach and running hand in hand
To skipping through the waves and building castles in the sand.
From catching wind tossed leaves and pulling rampant weeds
To plotting landscaped gardens and planting chosen seeds.
From planning joint adventures excitedly each year
To laying firm foundations toward my hoped career.
From childhood I’ll emerge as new pathways are tried
To knowing I’ll always remember these moments by your side.




The great I AM

Creator – yes, the great I AM;
Creation comes from you.
Lover of creation,
Let this creature be everything you planned it to.

A jewel in your crown,
Yes the sparkle in your eye.
The spring in your step,
Yes one who brings you pride.
The song in your heart,
Yes one that makes you smile.
The reason that you live,
Yes the one on your mind.
The cause of your strength,
Yes the one in whom you delight.

Yes I am impetuous; you are the one who is my balm.
Yes I am emotional; you are the one who keeps me calm.
Yes I am imaginative; you are the one who sees it too.
Yes I am indolent; you are the one who spurs me on.
Yes I am original; you are the one who keeps me true.

Creator – yes the great I AM,
Creation looks to you;
Lover of creation,
Keep this creature close to you.




Behind the veil

The soft fading sunlight casts a sombre portrait,
A stark and lonely shadow: a silhouette against a wall.
No depth, no substance, no thoughts to meditate;
Just hopes and dreams to fashion purpose in it all.
The gentle hand of God reaches down to nestle over me,
To see this emptiness appeased with a promise of eternity.

A rose among the thorns or a weed amid the blooms?
Swept up with the multitude as time goes rolling by -
Lips move, words fall hanging limp in crowded rooms;
Face to face a moment then parted with the tide.
The Lord himself has come in love to walk this road with me.
He is my Lord and my Saviour. He is everything I need.

A glistening falling snowflake is lost upon the ground.
The seasons tumble over... the breath of life is gone.
No light, no dreams, no questions left to understand,
Just an image in the mirror as time has ambled on.
From the very outset God has set his heart with me;
There is purpose in his footsteps, peace in his plan revealed.




Windows in skin

Through windows in skin
We see reflected the image of the nature within.
Take the cat in soft lovable form.
Rubbing, purring yet too well you know
It would kill your bird
Then think nothing of expecting a gentle stroke.
Through those eyes heartless and gold
We see the truth –
The cruelty of the nature within.

The world is full of such contradiction.
Exception is rare.

One is the dolphin. A master of display,
Sleek in form, a smile wide. It beckons to play,
Cackling along with the game;
Ready to help if you need support.
Through those eyes intelligent, humane,
We see the nature inside matches
The form it’s set in.
Justifying my reserve the case was closed.
I remained a prisoner of my fear
Till like that dolphin someone I did meet.
One whose perfection was a matching
Of inside and out.

He coaxed. I tried to let go.
“He’s just a man, Lord.” I reasoned.
Human. Flawed. Such was how I felt.
“My child, have I not chosen him?”
How could I answer? Against the Lord I could not speak.
Under the Father’s approving eyes,
He coaxed and I let go.




A spectacle to behold

Images spun around me like a carousel
Gone wild. Some were up, others down;
Some were dark, others light.

I marvelled at the scene like a dizzy
Spinning child. I then saw as it slowed down
This spectacle was my life.

It occurred to me why I’ve not enjoyed this ride -
You’re meant to laugh, not fear and frown
Or you’ll hate it all the time.

Well, that day has long been now I’m more inclined
To smile. Like a rug turned upside down
I’d not seen life’s better side.




Links

Searching for Atlantis…
Finding no answers.
Seeking the dead in Giza…
This puzzle is not easy.

Cities without mortar!
Who would have thought or
Dared believe in such power
At so early an hour?

What of pictures so designed
They’re best seen from the skies?
Or ancient monuments of such skill
They are standing still?

While studying the Sphinx,
Others hope in a link
To what’s intrigued them thus far -
By connecting it all with a face on Mars.

The earth is a crypt, centuries deep,
No one yet has found all the keys.
Perhaps in the soil from which we’re formed
We’ll find our link – the fingerprint of our Lord.




Just a thought

On facing reality: Life is a marathon. To finish well requires pertinacity, nothing less. Each day however is a sprint. Success here depends on motivation at the start.
On ignorance: The learned are those who understand that with
Knowledge gained comes the revelation that volumes more remain.

On equanimity: This is granted to those who accept that they are not responsible
For the whole show, only to do their best in the role given to them.

On conviction: Equipped with resoluteness and courage, it is the capacity to go
Past the last chartered point - into territory regarded ‘beyond belief’.

On commitment: This is found in the belief that the risk of dying en route
To fulfilment is preferable to falling asleep in the comforts of apathy.

On accomplishment: A goal can be likened to the summit
On a distant mountain peak. Though some distance away it is still within reach.
A dream is the misty cloud embellishing that peak –
It cannot be grasped, only experienced once it has been reached.

On perfection: The climax we hope will be reached by marrying the plan with reality.

On love: The miracle cure we all hope for, indeed need. To experience its healing
Power we must be prepared to pay the price asked – total surrender.

On happiness: Something that cannot be added to or depleted by life’s highs
And lows, but grows with the understanding that in God we are blessed.

On Godliness: We are but channels through which God speaks.
Keeping the channel free of interference such as fear, bias, pride will ensure
His message comes through clear.




More than a name

“In the name of Jesus,” the Pastor continues, “is not a
“Magic formula we tack on the end of our prayer to guarantee
“Results. It means we ask these things be done according to
“The nature of the One whose name we utter. A nature as God
“Himself is – Holy, righteous, just, omniscient, eternal, merciful,
“Compassionate, patient, long-suffering, loving, forgiving.
“If what we ask can be addressed within the bounds of the
“Character of our Lord we can ask anything in his name, and
“Believe it will be done.”
This thought she leaves with us: “What of our own names?
“Do we reflect the nature (the meaning) of the name by which
“We live?”

Christine I know means ‘a follower of Christ’. As a born-again
Believer in the Son of God, Jesus Christ, Saviour of those
Willing to confess their sins and accept him as Lord of their life
I am (admittedly after some years of waywardness), on the right
Track; walking his way as best I can on this road, my life.

Louise, my middle name is generally rendered ‘a war heroine’
Or followed by the words ‘hear’ and ‘fight’. Inimical by nature,
With terms such as ‘fiery’ and ‘stubborn’ affixed to me almost
Daily in my youth I was never one to listen. I preferred to
Disarm my opponent with an attitude of indifference, failing
This I would resort to physical combat never willing to admit
Defeat. Through years of spiritual tempering, this volatile mix
Has become one more befitting a lady.
The quality of single-minded determination.

My French surname, Secretan, is a variation of Sacristan –
Caretaker of a church/one in charge of the contents of
The sacristy/man of the church. Throughout the generations
Before me, many sons have upheld the family name by
Becoming ministers of God’s Word. Similarly, many daughters
Thus moved married men of God.

Pondering all this, I realise the privilege bestowed upon me.
I pause to consider my birth into this divine calling.
Like those before me I too affirm that I will serve God with
More than my name. I will serve him with my heart.




God made

God made all things from his realm above.
He is the Creator. His medium is love.

God declared this love by creating the earth
So he could bring forth life from the dirt.

God pulled the day from the darkness of night
To prepare the stage for the wonder of sight.

God stretched a space to form above and below,
That through this vastness his greatness he’d show.

God moved the waters to the places that be
Then moulded the land around and beneath.

God adorned the earth with grasses and trees
Then for survival he gave something called seed.

God placed above us the heavenly bodies we see;
An intricate timepiece for man, land and sea.

God called forth creatures, all sizes and forms.
In pairs he did do this so more would be born.

God mirrored his image and called the form Man
And set them above all creatures to govern the land.

God purposed a message through Adam and Eve:
“Unity is eternal if you’ll look first to me.”

God made all things with one purpose in mind,
That once we beheld it our Creator we’d find.




On my knees (Shalom)

Persistent thoughts from me depart,
On my knees I have no qualms;
Only peace is found in the Father’s arms.

May it be where I’ll always be,
On my knees, a heart seeking thee.
Here I know is where it comes –
Peace, peace, peace, shalom.

Kept in his love and feeling free,
On my knees my Lord sees me.
Here to sing his praise in song –
Peace, peace, peace, shalom.




Sheep

Sheep:
Dumb – content to be one of the flock.
Fleecy – good for garments to keep the weather out.
Herbivorous – tender, no sweeter meat to taste.

Sheep:
We are but sheep in your pasture Lord,
Remind us of your care.
Do we, when need be, give of this abundance?
Teach us your generosity.
When you call, do we render our life in service?
As you Lord did, our Shepherd precious.

Adonai Ro’i
Your pasture is eternal;
Your arms bound our way;
Your providence unequalled;
Your love for us guaranteed.
Hear Lord, the cry of your people:
“May we be today, forever, yours alone to keep.”




Promise (at your feet)

A gleaner she was in the field of Boaz.
I gather your words as they spill from your heart.
He - an admirer of beauty, a protector of kin.
I glow in the knowledge that in your love I am living.

In winter we believe in the arrival of spring.
In drought we survive in the hope rain will fall.
In darkness we delight in the knowledge dawn follows night.
In separation we live in the assurance that you will come again.

Trusting in wisdom Ruth followed the plan;
There on the threshing floor she fell soft at his feet.
Trust is everything when nothing you hold;
Each day reassured by the promise you’ll keep.




My heart lifted high

Arms outstretched atop a mountain,
My heart lifted high,
Arms outstretched atop a mountain,
Praise to you my Lord, my Redeemer,
Praise to you my Lord lifted high.

There is peace in your presence,
Security in your love and care.
My rock, my salvation,
How I love to feel you near.

Arms outstretched atop a mountain,
My heart lifted high,
Praise to you my Lord, my Redeemer,
Praise to you my Lord lifted high.

Let me say how much I love you:
“With my heart, my life I do.”
Today and forever
Lord I will always love you.

Arms outstretched atop a mountain,
My heart lifted high,
Praise to you my Lord, my Redeemer,
Praise to you my Lord lifted high.
A thousand years will not sway me;
Each a chance to prove me true;
My Lord, my Redeemer,
Eternally pledged to you.

Arms outstretched atop a mountain,
My heart lifted high,
Praise to you my Lord, my Redeemer,
Praise to you my Lord lifted high.




Ready

Chosen, Esther made herself ready;
Her time of purification unmeasured
Until that call came:
“Are you ready?
“Are you beautiful?
“The king will see you today.”

Chosen,
And clothed in your love,
I am blessed (happy and to be envied) -
Your bride betrothed.
Radiant in anticipation;
To fill your heart with pride.

Chosen,
We await our day,
The day the heavens will sing:
“Are you ready?
“Are you beautiful?
“Your Lord will see you today.

Publications by HIM